The Problem of Being Perfect

A disastrous visit with a chum illustrates the difficulty of life as the beau idéal of virtue. From GREED v1, #4.

Illustration ©Jennifer Sayenga

by Mr. Ethics

AT A RECENT PARTY Mr. Ethics met a group of ill-bred strangers who, upon learning that Mr. Ethics writes monthly on matters of correct behavior, immediately asked if it is difficult to embody moral and ethical perfection day in and day out. “Surely even Mr. Ethics must slip up sometime!” they exclaimed, snorting a fine mist of champagne from their mocking nostrils.

Mr. Ethics, of course, could only laugh at their stupidity. Dear readers, Mr. Ethics well realizes the awesome responsibility of writing this column, but to be quite honest, the mantle of perfection sits lightly upon his stylishly padded shoulders. Mr. Ethics would not have the bad taste to write this column if he were cut from the same ratty piece of sackcloth as the rest of humanity. True, Mr. Ethics sometimes errs, but always on the side of caution.

Alas, the same cannot be said of Mr. Ethics’ many friends and acquaintances. When Mr. Ethics needs reminding of the baser qualities o…